Rob Jones

I stepped back in time this month, entering a long forgotten dark age that, I must admit, I'd hoped never to experience again. I went back to a time known as BBI (Before Broadband Internet) and relived a life of no connection, slow connections, clogged up phone lines and clock watching.

No, this isn't a new reality show about to join the fray of those already abusing our screens. I moved house. Which meant packing up the computer and associated kit and turning off the broadband connection.

I'd decided that after three years of using the same service it was time to seek out an alternative, especially as I was paying way over the odds compared to the bulk of packages now available.

It's funny how companies seem to be happy to leave you paying higher rates when you've been a loyal customer, then bleat when you tell them their time is up and you're moving on.

I had previously enquired about changing the package, only to be told that I'd have to switch off my connection, wait a couple of weeks and then reconnect under a new deal with the same company. This was a madness I wasn't prepared to entertain, so I figured it was easier to wait and exact revenge by terminating the contract when we moved house.

I wasn't sure how well I'd handle my time without technology (we are so pampered today!). I just couldn't bring myself to pack the computer, so left it on and connected until the last possible moment the day before we moved, conveniently finding reasons to 'just quickly go online to xxxxx', where xxxxx was any number of weak excuses to put off the inevitable.

Then the time finally arrived. It was Sunday evening, the old house looked like it was propped up by boxes and there just wasn't anything else I could pack.

I eased myself into the job, carefully packing the printer and the scanner and beautifully folding various cables whose use I'd long since forgotten. The Voice over IP phones were packed up - oh the horror of using the BT landline again during the day. With every call made there was nervous clock watching as I mentally racked up the cost.

And then, finally, I had to switch off the PC and lower it gently into its box, scrawling FRAGILE!!!! over every blank space, just in case the removal men were in any doubt.

On the day of the move I pretty much stalked them when they went near a box that had any kit inside it, following them until I'd seen its safe placement in the lorry.

And so to the new house. Taking the old phone number should have ensured a quick reconnection of at least the phone line but, despite plenty of notice, BT was incapable of that, leaving us without a phone for about 24 hours.

OK, so the journey back in time involved some cheating; my heart just wasn't into seeking out a phone box, so I confess I used the mobile to make calls until BT reconnected the line.

The killer, though, was the lack of broadband. At the time of writing, I've been in the house for a week but am still broadbandless. So we've had to go back to 56K.

It's funny, but it seems a bit faster than I remember. That doesn't stop going online being painful, though, especially during peak hours.

I miss all the other things I used to do online without giving it a second thought: listening to the Sky Sports service on a Saturday afternoon, or radio over the internet just because I could, downloading clips of films I know I'll never go and see, curiosity surfing, making calls over the internet because it's so much cheaper ...

So how is life without broadband? My advice: if possible, don't go there.

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